Wednesday, 20 June 2012

Major Cover Up at HESC

What is this I hear you cry? Do we have financial irregularities to make the Euro issues look like a petty cash miscount? Or, better still, is it salacious gossip involving improper relationships?

Well the problem does relate to some particularly tenacious and not all together well behaved young ladies, who are not in the least fussy, if its men or women, with whom they enjoy a brief, but close and ultimately painful, relationship.

Yes, the HESC Mozzies are out in force and getting their teeth stuck into anyone who leaves exposed flesh available. Most perilous areas at the moment seem to be along the pathway between the woodland and far hides, but you are liable to be mugged almost anywhere on the reserve.

Although the majority of mosquitos in this country do not bite humans, a number of species are more than willing to have a go including: Culex pipiens (biotype molestus) which can be a nuisance biter in localised areas, where it mainly breeds  underground. Other species partial to a drop of vin du permit holder, include:  the woodland mosquito ( Ochlerotatus cantans), and Culiseta annulata which may be found  in urban areas, early and late in the year.

In all cases it is only the female that bites.

The answer?  Well you  take your choice, having had a number of itchy, swelling lumps on my arms neck and face, I recommend long sleeves, definitely do not wear shorts and maybe try one of the proprietary insect repellents. My old and very effective standby, for keeping the Highland Midge at bay, Avon Skin So Soft, does not appear to keep the HESC Buzzing Belles from performing transfusions, on me at least.

British “mozzies” do not carry malaria, or at the moment, any other serious diseases,  but, if you want to avoid some irritating and unpleasant sore lumps on your personage, please take care and try to cover up as far as possible.


  1. I was going to say, "There ain't no flies on you." But I suspect I'd be wrong.

  2. Oh No - more biting satire!